Preacher Penalties

What if there were officials when we preached? Preacher Penalties, with an assist or three from James Hayes and Andy Connelly

Targeting - Going after a specific individual who you are in conflict within a sermon. 

Offsides - Preaching on something you have not prepared to speak on. 

Delay of game - Not stopping when you’ve said all you need to say. Just taking up time unnecessarily. 

Clipping - Using someone else’s sermon material without giving them credit or asking them if you can use it.

Encroachment - Trying to preach a sermon that you do not have the influence to preach. 

Equipment violation -  Making what you wear more important that it should be (just in case you miss it this can be done with any clothing).

False start - Preaching without praying first.

Substitution infraction - Putting in a story that has nothing to do with the lesson just because you think it might have some effect or salvage an otherwise bad sermon.

Personal Foul, Unsportsmanlike conduct—Not practicing what you preach.

Illegal shift - Changing subjects in the middle of the sermon (“chasing rabbits”).

Roughing the Passer - Unfairly bad-mouthing the guy who passed the pulpit on to us; the previous preacher.

Illegal use of hands - Unnecessary gesticulation, or mimicking the gestures of your favorite preacher(s).

Horse Collar Infraction - Dragging someone down from behind their back (otherwise known as gossip: typically appears when a preacher says, “We need to pray for…” But really means “I want to tell you about what they’ve done but I don’t want it to sound like gossip.”

Intentional grounding - Not preaching what you need to preach because you fear the criticism you’ll receive from certain members after the sermon.

What would you add?