I'm Dependent

I’ve prepared thousands of sermons and classes. I have a lot of traditions that go into my sermon study. Typically I do not put my slide-deck (i.e. PowerPoint, KeyNote, Prezi) together until Saturday. On the way to the church building I sing out-loud, “Jesus Loves Me” and pray for my attitude as I preach that morning - for my heart toward those who listen, for my passion. 

I know some won’t get this, but some will. It matters not how hard or long I have studied I rarely feel prepared or adequate for this task and I’ve shared with you the haunting prayer, that seems to flood my soul: “Then Samson called to the LORD, saying, ‘O Lord GOD, remember me, I pray! Strengthen me, I pray, just this once’” (Judges 16:28). I’ve always felt a little guilty praying it - like I didn’t prepare for a final examine and I need Divine intervention. 

A couple of weeks ago was one of those very rare Sunday’s I was really confident. I thought about it and then prayed my variation of Samson’s prayer anyway. It made me happy to work this out in my soul. Perhaps this has never been a prayer of desperation but one of dependance. What if it’s not a prayer of panic but of realization. Every time I stand before God’s People with God’s Word I need to passionate beg for God’s help. Just this once. Each time.